No matter how long you've been together or how rough the separation is, saying goodbye to your spouse is hard. Life is going to be much different from this point on and you've got to find ways to move on. Make yourself a priority throughout the separation and beyond; here are 10 ways to heal.
1. Have someone to talk to. Discussing your feelings is one of the most effective ways of healing them, thus, it's very important that you have a trusted person to talk to about what's happening to you emotionally.
2. Keep yourself busy. Sitting on the sofa feeling sorry for yourself won't help you heal. Although giving yourself time to get over the situation is wise, don't mope or make it a permanent pity-party.
3. Take time before seeing other people. Even if you don't like being alone, it's important to get over your spouse before you go out and see other people. Not only is it too emotionally tangled for you, it's not really fair to the new person you see.
4. Make sure you are legally looked out for. Even if your separation is amicable, have a good lawyer on your side; one that will make sure you're represented well and taken care of in the long-term.
5. Try to make new friends that are all your own. Most especially if you and your spouse shared most of your friends, it's good for you now to have a few you can call your own. Look for new friends who have no association with your spouse or your former life together, if possible.
6. Do something nice for yourself, every day. Keeping your spirits up is a big part of moving on. Treat yourself to something nice each day, just make sure it's not an indulgence you'll feel guilty for later (such as a pint of ice-cream all by yourself).
7. Make sure you take care of your health. Separation is hard on your soul, but it can also leave you feeling like not taking care of your health, too. Fight to stay out of that trap. 8. Expect to have bad days. Some days will be better than others, but don't blame yourself. It's just the natural course of action healing takes.
9. Keep your financial house in order. Particularly if you were partly or completely dependent on your spouse to pay the bills, make sure you know how to handle your finances now. Be it a job or budgeting - you need to know how to survive on your own.
10. Let yourself cry. While it's vital that you keep the various aspects of your life in good working order, it's also okay to let your heart weep. Releasing emotions opens the door to healing them.
Healing is an important aspect of separation, no matter what your individual circumstances are like. Deal with the situation on the legal and financial levels, but don't forget about yourself as a person. You need to heal, in order to move on with your life.
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